About The River

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Love Matters












 A friend of mine shared this story.
I loved the the following paragraph....


 When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’


I will be honest, yes, at times during this adventure of motherhood, I have felt invisible.
I have wanted to be selfish at times. 
Then something tugs at me, reminding me, we only have them for so long, then they grow up.
And yes, I do want them to come home for holiday. 
And yes, I want my boys to say to friends, "You're gonna love it there."

 Remember the baby years? 
Remember potty training?
Remember sleepless nights?
Remember having to say "NO" ...you would get those eyes and the smile, you had to stick to your guns. 

Teen Years
Choosing what battles to fight.
Teaching them to drive.
The first job, in the big world.
Letting them go .... watching them grow up.

Motherhood is no easy job. 
I will be honest, I am blessed to be one.
With all the ups and downs motherhood can bring.
Having my boys hug me in public.
Having my boys come and ask me for advice.
Having my boys say "I love you, Mom."
It is all worth it.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you.
 
 
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
  

Invisible Mother…
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was
feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription:
‘To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And
the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. 

Nicole Johnson’s The Invisible Woman

16 comments:

  1. This is such a blessing to me. Thank you so much for posting it. "Invisibility...the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness..." "We are helping build a cathedral that we will never live to see finished." Words of wisdom!

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  2. Oh, my sweet friend, thank you for this and the words you shared....what a blessing to read this morning.

    I hope you have a most beautiful Mother's Day! Love and hugs!

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  3. Loved reading this. Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  4. Carla, what a wonderful Mother's Day post!! Now I want to get this book and give it to all the mothers I love. It is such a wonderful inspiration for all of us who feel invisible. We are building cathedrals of the soul. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!

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  5. Thank you for sharing this with us, Carla. I am blessed to be a mother and know my children love me and that they still love to come home. That makes all those "invisible" moments all worth it! Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  6. I love this, I needed this! It's been a bittersweet week celebrating my daughter's 13th birthday and coming to terms with the fact that within five years she could very well be heading off to college. I want that for her, I want her to be happy, to live life to the full list, to have hopes and dreams - I want that for both my girls. I do feel more invisible these days, they're both busier and have separate social circles that keep them busy. I miss them, I miss the early days. At the same time, I know that they are healthy, happy, they are growing and maturing at their pace. It's they way it works. They still hug me, still call me, "Mama" , and (so far) I'm still the one they run to when they're hurt. I hope they always need me and I think they will. You're and amazing Mom Carla, thank you for sharing this and I love the bond you have with your boys that you share with us ❤️

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  7. Good Morning Carla. What a beautiful post. I think the greatest gift we can give to our kids it to let them know we will always be there for them. While they begin to carve out lives for themselves from birth to old age it is so true sometimes we feel 'invisible" but one thing is for sure our kids will always know we are right there as their journey's continue. Seeing them become beautiful human beings in this world is such a gift for all of us mom's. It reflects that while we feel invisible at times we were a big part of creating these beautiful souls that will go out in this world and do wonderful things. You are the best mom to your boys and I wish you such joy and happiness this weekend as you celebrate the great mom you are. Happy Mom's Day.
    xoxo
    Kris

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  8. Here is Nicole's presentation of "The Invisible Woman." Perhaps at a Women of Faith event??? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0

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  9. Such a timely post for Mother's Day Carla. You're a great mom and it shows.
    Hugs, Julia

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  10. Carla, I have tears in my eyes. This is so beautiful. Motherhood is the noblest profession and one that has eternal results. I agree with Julia. "You're a great mom and it shows." Happy Mother's Day, my friend. This is a great post! Hugs, Nancy

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  11. A most beautiful post Carla - it bought tears to my eyes.
    Wishing you a wonderful weekend and a Happy Mother's Day.

    All the best Jan

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  12. The invisibility lasted until my son was 25 and I think it's ending now with my almost 22 year old daughter. Now they see me as a confidant and a friend and that is what brings me joy. I know that it'll be the same for you.

    hugs,
    rue

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  13. You've touched on a truth many mothers know only too well. It's bittersweet to watch our children pull away, but it's all part of growing up. Eventually, they come to realize we are not invisible, and if we're lucky they realize we can be their friend as well as their parent. Motherhood certainly is an adventure, and like old age, isn't for sissies.

    xxx

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  14. A beautiful post and tribute to mothers Carla! An invisible cathedral - great analogy! Motherhood never ends, does it! Once a mother, always one! Hugs to you today dear friend!

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High Fives from Wisconsin!

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