About The River

Friday, December 6, 2019

Hit Where It Hurts

Hit where it hurts.. this does not sound very Christmas like I know. And this will be a post that my heart will break open in all honesty. I have been struggling with a VERY negative person at my work. I work part time, two days a week at Daybreak. I shared about my new job here.

Early November I had it with the co worker. I called my supervisor and explained the situation. She was caring, listened and understood what I was saying because there have been other complaints about this co worker. I shared with my supervisor I will give it another two weeks. 
Well, here I am. 
Things have gotten worse. 
I went to my supervisor again.
Because it is the holiday season, we have so many fun activities planned and I have come to love and care for the participants. It is not easy for me to say "I am hanging it up!"
At the same time, I am not sure I can handle anymore of the negativity that comes with each day.  I have never been in such a situation before in all my years of working. 
I am at a crossroads. 
And I share this all with you because you have been with me during my dad's heart attack, my son's basic training , the passing of our dog and so much more. 

Thank you my friends for any words of wisdom. If any of you have walked this road before. How did you handle it? How did you decide on what to do?

 This week our family received some very difficult news.
A dear friend of ours has been diagnosed with cancer.
I have cried often this week. Confused, sad and disappointed. 
My prayer is to be the friend she needs me to be. For my boys to be the friends they need to be and that we can shine light during this very difficult time.

 I know I have to play on the one string that we have and that is our attitude.
Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

Be Love!


  1. i have been there two different times management did not seem to want to do anything.i prayed that god would take care of it and he did both of them done them self in and were fired keep praying and going to management it will work out.

  2. Oh sweet Carla you have had it very rough. You are too good of a person to deal with the co worker that is so sad and angry with herself and puts that on to others. She should not be in the position she is in. I have to blame your supervisor if she has had many complaints besides yours about this women. I am just so sad it has forced you to have to leave this place and how sad the people that you touch their lives there have to lose your sweet and caring heart. If they are willing to let go of a great person that cares to keep a person that should not be in her position then that is a sad statement on the supervisors part. I just am sorry for you and the people's lives you touched there. Maybe this is a sign that something else is on the horizon for you where your love and caring heart will be put to better use. I am saying a prayer for that women that is so angry and a bully. She must be so unhappy in her own heart to be so mean and un caring to others. I am sorry about the news of a friend getting cancer. Double hit for you this week. I hope with coming days you will find peace with your decision to leave the job and also your friend will get good care and great treatment for their cancer. Prayers sweet friend things will get a little better in the coming days. Big Hugs. Wish I lived closer to come and give you a big hug and cry with you.

  3. I am so sorry! What a struggle you are having. This is a tough one. Maybe they will fire her, but do not want to do it during the holidays? The first thing I usually do with a problem is to pray; so I will pray about this for you.

  4. Carla, I am so sorry about your co-worker. That is a very hard situation to be in. I have never faced that myself. Is there nothing your supervisor can do? I would hate to see you leave something that you love. I am also saddened by the news about your dear friend having cancer. ((HUGS)) I will be praying for your job situation, praying for your dear friend and praying for the pain going on in your heart. Love, Debby

  5. Hi Carla. Really sorry to hear all this but sometimes things do happen for a reason. Your friend with cancer will need her friends at this difficult time and maybe not having the job will give you more time to be there for her as you wish to be. (Not long after I walked away from my job my SIL was diagnosed with cancer and I was able to be there for her. She is cancer free now.) You have such a kind, caring and positive attitude - you will get through this. Take care x

  6. Keep your head high! But, also remember, that it's okay to give your cares and worries to God. Letting yourself vent, even on this blog, is helpful. There's a couple co-workers where I'm at that are downright bullies. Thankfully, I work nights and they work days. But there's times when our paths cross and it's just sickening how they behave.

  7. Hi. Reading this post made me think one thing: just be glad your negative co-worker isn't your sister! Your co-worker you can walk away from but your sister? I'm constantly trying to see some small glimmer of happiness in mine but have come to the conclusion that it "ain't gonna happen."

  8. You are allowing this person to have control over you by inflicting frustration into your life. Stop giving them so much power. It is your life and your call. Either empower them by showing you are frustrated or deflate their ego by letting things roll off your back and demonstrate that you are their to do your best job. Put your best self forward, do your best work pray for your co-worker to find their place in peace. You will have done all you can do...now move forward in your own peace. Do not sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the previous few minutes of life that God has graced you with. Merry Chrixtmas!

  9. I'm so sorry for your struggles this week. One of my oldest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer this fall, so I feel your struggle. At my last job I worked with a negative bully. Management got involved and wanted us to work it out because they didn't want to lose me. When they worded it that way, after all the other complaints about this guy, that no one wanted to work or talk too, I didn't talk to management again. I didn't leave my job because of him, but when my new job presented itself, I happily accepted the job offer, and never looked back.

  10. Isn't it sad how one person can ruin things for all the others. Carla, I just know those older people you work with would hate to see you go. If you love the job and the people you care for, stay and let your sweet caring personality outshine the negative one. Over the years I have worked with a few that made me hate going in to work every day. It's hard. Love, Henny

  11. Carla, you are at a difficult road and I don't know what to say. I know that Jesus said to love those who persecute you and to forgive them.
    What ever harm that she does to you and others, she also does to Jesus. It takes a strong person to put up with these bullies and negative people and by yourself, you can do nothing but with Jesus' help you can do more than you think.

    Keep us informed. I'm still praying.
    Hugs, Julia

  12. Carla, dear, I have to say that Kris's words above in her comment are so very wise, which doesn't surprise me at all. I found comfort myself, for you, in reading them. I think that things will work out and if you must search for another job that it will be the perfect fit.

    I'll stop and pray for your friend and for you as you focus on being an encouragement for her. You are a good friend, I know.

  13. Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I will pray for your dear friend. Regarding the difficult job situation...that's rough, too. Life is too short to spend it with negative, mean people. I hope the situation will resolve--either by you or the other person moving to a different area of the company or a different job, or through an understanding between the two of you. I realize the latter option is unlikely, but sometimes it does happen. Good luck!

  14. Oh no! I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. You love your job and the people just not this one so much. Your company should be listening to you. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. Positive thoughts are being sent your way.

  15. Oh Carla, I'm so sorry. It's a lot to deal with all at once. I've been thinking of you, my friend. And that quote is so true...sending you hugs.

  16. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this right now Carla. I've also had some issues at work and have removed myself from the situation. Your situation is different and it must be hard to think you would have to leave when you're enjoying the participants. I do hope your supervisor finds a good resolution. I am so sorry about your dear friend and hoping for a full recovery. Sending you hugs!

  17. I am so sorry to read this, it is a lot to deal with!
    Sending positive thoughts your way.
    My good wishes too.

    All the best Jan

  18. Carla, for 3 years I was in a very bad work situation. The worst of it was that the person who made my life miserable was my boss. He was a bully, and no matter what I did I could never please him. After a year of putting up with his cruelty I began to look for another job. God closed every door and kept me there for two more years (I did not want to just quit my job without having another one to go to). Finally, God released me from that job and gave me one that blessed me beyond anything I could have imagined. It was so worth the wait. In my case there was no supervisor or manager to go to, he was the top dog. In your case you've followed protocol and nothing has changed. I agree with Kris that this does not speak well of your supervisor, and you are more than justified in wanting to leave. Perhaps in giving your notice your supervisor will "man up". Or perhaps it's time to move on and God will give you something that is better than what you have, and where you will be a blessing to others just as you are where you are now. Pray with all your heart for God to give you wisdom and clear direction. He will do it! Love and hugs, Nancy


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